6.5 and Koreans

To be honest, being pregnant gives me gas. It makes my skin break out. It keeps me from being able to stay awake in movies, and it leaves me feeling nauseated. Yesterday at church I watched a very pregnant girl who is about my age waddle out of church towards the bathroom, and I thought, “What have I gotten myself into?” Later, talking with the DH about what it means to have a kid, we asked ourselves, “What have we gotten ourselves into?”

One of my Korean friends, MY, asked me last week if I am planning to look at a picture of a beautiful baby everyday. Noooo, I said. Why? Apparently, if a Korean mother looks at a baby picture everyday, her baby will look like that picture! Also, if she drinks milk, her baby will have whiter skin, but if she drinks sodas, her baby will have darker skin. I asked MY: “If I look at a picture of a Korean baby everyday, do you think my baby will look Korean when she’s born?”

She didn’t think so.

Korean mothers spend 2-4 weeks in a special care unit after giving birth. They only see their babies for feedings, and they eat seaweed soup, and they aren’t allowed to touch cold water at all. MY says that Korean women are weaker than American women, but I don’t think that’s possible. I’m curious, though. I want some researcher to study this and find out if the Korean way lessens post-partum depression.

more six week blues

I should also mention, for the sake of science and full disclosure, that I’m HUNGRY this week. Hungry for breads and cakes, unfortunately. In addition, my mouth is producing rivers of saliva, with a slightly metallic taste, and I’m tired, falling asleep at 9:30 pm, but waking up at four with weird half-dreams about babies.

As long as I don’t start throwing up, I’m not complaining.

weeks five and six

Heading into my fifth week, things got kind of rough. I went on a camping trip and couldn’t even drink a beer! I couldn’t eat the fancy quesadillas our friends brought (no soft cheeses, girls). And no cowboy coffee for me. (Sure, the books say you can safely have 300 grams of caffeine a day, but then they all say we should give it up anyway, just to be 100% safe. Doublespeak and guilt trips: that’s why I avoid the books.)

A more serious note: I started having cramps. I’d read that mild cramps were pretty normal, and I’d had some, right around the time when I found out I was pregnant. For a couple of days I’d felt like I was about to start my period.

But these were worse. These were curl-up-on-the-floor-and-try-to-breathe cramps. They lasted for 15-30 minutes, and would come on several times a day. Twice I caved and took acetaminophen. I was scared. I’d never heard of anyone having cramps this bad. Was it a bad sign? Was I going to lose the baby?

They subsided after a week. But the fear remains, in the first trimester. It leaves me unwilling to get excited about the baby; I don’t want to get attached until I know I won’t lose her. But twelve weeks is a long time to put your heart on hold, to remain emotionally uncommitted to a baby inside you.

That baby is the size of a lentil now